Nine – On loss and found

As a writer and mother who can no longer have any more, it is my deep grieving responsibility to tell stories. Since the moment I saw the double lines on a pregnancy stick, I’ve encountered incredible women who have pressed on through heartbreaking circumstances. I am every, and all, and none of these women. This is a tribute to […]

Baby Clothes

I cried again yesterday. After having a great day at work and getting some writing done, I settled on the couch in our living room. Shiloh was already in bed, and I was beginning to put together a shadowbox together for him – an idea I got from a friend on Facebook. I laid out […]

The Uncontrollables

Last night, I wrestled with a 32 pound cardboard box to pull the pieces of my new hammock stand out. It was around 8:30PM and as the sun dipped below the horizon, I was determined to sit my happy butt in my new hammock before bed. I pulled the black painted metal poles, screws, and […]

First Steps

If there were 100 people at Target, then I felt all 200 eyeballs in the store were affixed to my purple cap covering my shaved head. I glided through the clothing and baby aisles completely paranoid that the busy Fairfax store patrons were shooting me sympathetic glances and whispering “cancer” in unseen corners. Except they […]

We were Saved from Cancer

There was incessant beeping in the room when I finally opened my eyes. I can’t remember what time it was but the clock on the wall and the setup in the room materialized into the ICU. That, according to the doctor, meant the surgery was complicated. I tried to move but I was connected on […]

All the Scrapes and Bruises

It was the first one. Kevin sat on the bed while I tried to distract myself with putting up clothes and folding socks. It was the only thing I could do while trying to figure out how to have the same conversation about the same topic. That’s how I’m built. While I tried to match socks, I was […]

Laughter and Shadow Puppets

Yesterday, after a fairly large dinner, Kevin and I plopped into bed at 9:30PM and hit the lights. Sherlock took the cue and leaped onto the bed, settling in his usual spot on Kevin’s leg at the edge of the bed. The light of our newly purchased R2D2 humidifier cast a half moon spotlight on […]