Plastic Wheels and Birthday Cake

Shiloh was determined. With Curious George at his side, his plump toes barely brushed the carpet in our living room, but his hands jerked the plastic wheel left and right. He knew how to steer, just not how to go forward. He will have to wait until his legs grow a bit longer. The rest […]

When it Matters

Some things have become all too familiar: the apprehension of having an easy handed nurse place my IV in my good arm (left), park in the Green garage but don’t worry because the hospital will give you a voucher, wear comfortable, warm clothes, put on the laundered blue gown with the opening to the back, […]

I am NOT a number 

It’s CT scan time to confirm the cancer didn’t come back from my last one which confirmed I’m cancer free in March. The mocha flavored barium is swirling in my stomach where coffee usually sits at this time of day. I choked it down as I sat on the bathroom floor this morning since I […]

Cleaning out the Closet

“Kevin!” I desperately pleaded for my husband to come find me standing outside the bathroom. We were cleaning and moving the last remnants from our old two bedroom apartment to close it out. The air was musty from abandonment, and I wished I didn’t have to be here and instead was comfortable in our new […]

Reviving Passions – Roads Not Taken

I jotted the list down, tapping into a self I hadn’t seen in a while. Actually, I greeted my different selves, parts of me that were buried under time and responsibility – life changes. The journal activity was to write about the roads in our life, the passions we once nurtured and explored – the […]

Stronger by Now

I thought I’d be stronger by now. When I was sitting in a hospital bed in the infusion clinic, my skin pale and puffed with Taxol, Cisplatin, and Carboplatin, I looked forward to warm weather. Cancer tried to take me as the weather grew cold, and I knew my horizon was among the budding flowers […]

Nightmare

I had a nightmare yesterday. Well, I guess you could call it more of a day-mare since it was during my nap after work. I climbed into bed with my Little Man; his body faced toward me as we dozed off. In my dream, I was with a good friend and one other woman. Both […]

Toolbox

When people ask me about my darkest moment during the last year and through treatment, I know exactly when it was. It was a week night and Kevin was relaxing in the living room playing his basketball game. Shiloh was fast asleep in the crib, which at the time was in the corner of our […]

Kindness

It was my fault. I quickly turned on my right blinker to turn on the next exit to make a loop to go back on the highway since I missed the exit for Willard rd for church. We were already behind and service started a minute and a half ago. As we rolled into the […]