A Letter to my Husband

  My Love, The lights were always dim. My IV pole machine lit a tiny sliver of green on the waxed fourth floor as you lifted your contorted body from the visitor’s chair at 3 AM. Leaving sleep in your eyes, you unplugged my machine, tied my blue hospital gown, lifted me out of the […]

Staying the Course

This was the moment. My feet dug into the Atlantic sand among the infant clams burying their bodies back under the protection of the waves. An 80 degree breeze hoisted my four dollar kite into the air and momentarily eclipsed the sun as its shadow danced on rainbow canopies and sun kissed bodies. I finally […]

Grace

A student stood before me – his hand gripping his backpack on one shoulder and all his hope of graduating on the other. I was typing in numbers on my school issued laptop which would determine if his final exam would get him to the coveted 60% to pass – and of course graduate:to walk […]

Nightmare

I had a nightmare yesterday. Well, I guess you could call it more of a day-mare since it was during my nap after work. I climbed into bed with my Little Man; his body faced toward me as we dozed off. In my dream, I was with a good friend and one other woman. Both […]

Toolbox

When people ask me about my darkest moment during the last year and through treatment, I know exactly when it was. It was a week night and Kevin was relaxing in the living room playing his basketball game. Shiloh was fast asleep in the crib, which at the time was in the corner of our […]

Holding Up My Elbows

There’s a story in the Bible in Exodus where when Moses held up his hand to God that Israel prevailed and when he was tired and let down his hand, Amalek prevailed. It seems such a tiring task to keep your hands raised during a battle, but he did not do it alone. The Word […]

First Steps

If there were 100 people at Target, then I felt all 200 eyeballs in the store were affixed to my purple cap covering my shaved head. I glided through the clothing and baby aisles completely paranoid that the busy Fairfax store patrons were shooting me sympathetic glances and whispering “cancer” in unseen corners. Except they […]

We were Saved from Cancer

There was incessant beeping in the room when I finally opened my eyes. I can’t remember what time it was but the clock on the wall and the setup in the room materialized into the ICU. That, according to the doctor, meant the surgery was complicated. I tried to move but I was connected on […]