Circus Monkeys

Somedays, I feel like the ringmaster standing center stage and directing all the monkeys and tigers with a scarlet baton.  I wave the directions towards hoops and stages, then bow when the show is over without a hitch as the crowd cheers for an encore. Then there are days like Friday, when I am not […]

Orange Peanuts

I regretted getting the wrong cart. It squeaked and stuttered on the waxy floors of the grocery store. Shiloh jerked the wheel of the plastic car attached to the front of the cart, speeding his way to an imaginary finish line. “Koom Koom!” he cried, announcing to the other shoppers that he was speeding down […]

Uprooting Weeds

Like many Virginians this weekend, I got home on Friday to find several yellow-eyed dandelions eyeballing me from the front lawn of our townhome. The day before I spent near an hour wearing a pair of red palmed gloves strangling those yellow weeds and pulling them out of the grass and the flower bed where crimson […]

Nine – On loss and found

As a writer and mother who can no longer have any more, it is my deep grieving responsibility to tell stories. Since the moment I saw the double lines on a pregnancy stick, I’ve encountered incredible women who have pressed on through heartbreaking circumstances. I am every, and all, and none of these women. This is a tribute to […]

Tell you everything else

A few days ago when I was checking my email, a name which is always attached to both my surgery record, diagnosis, and chemo regimen was in the inbox, Dr. Stephanie Wethington. Though I’ve had countless doctors and nurses treat me, it all began with her saving my life during surgery and separating my body […]

Cracks in Armor

I went to the Emergency Room yesterday. I started having throbbing pain under my ribs while I was at work and after all that has happened, I’m acutely aware of every feeling in my body – or in some places – the lack thereof. After arriving home and putting Shiloh down for a nap to […]

Road Most Traveled by

Our three sets of eyes opened at 4AM, and we’ve already begun our day. Kevin is finishing eating a sausage my sister-in-law left in our fridge, I’m blogging with a hot cup of coffee on my least favorite cat coaster, and Shiloh is dunking a black and red Jordan basketball in his Fisher Price hoop […]

Cancerversary – I’ve learned

The chalk slides against the board as I finish the warm up writing prompt: “If you died today, what would you leave in the world as proof you existed?” Usually, I go for the whimsical or mundane journaling, but today the seniors asked for a more serious topic. I obliged, and it doesn’t help that […]

On the Other Side

I’ve walked through those doors dozens of times but there was something about today that made me all nerves and apprehension. It wasn’t a fear of rejection but teetered more toward belonging too much – as if – if I entered the doors of my own volition – that I would have to stay. After […]